Perfect Love

  Perfect Love, what is it?  The meaning of the word perfect if looked up is faultless, flawless, quintessential and ultimate. Then we have the meaning of love. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection, fondness, tenderness, endearment and attachment. Once I read all that and really take it all in I can't help but feel awe. I have total amazement that that's how God feels about me. I have done nothing to earn it and have done so much I feel that makes me not deserve it. Yet he feels that way about me. 

  When I was two months pregnant with my third child after having two miscarriages the year before I received a call. Grandpa's in the hospital and their calling in the family. I called my doctor. So scared I could loose yet another baby. She told me stay home, don't go. If your labor starts I can't stop it this early. But I had to see him. He was my amazing grandpa. The one who gave amazing hugs and instilled the love of country in my heart. So I went. And as we drove I filled with emotions the whole way there. And as we walked down the hallway the emotions built. Fear of loosing grandpa. Fear for my unborn child. And then we turned to the hallway where all my family was. And I saw all the red eyes, all the tears. And me, I began to feel warm and I went numb. I felt no pain at all. All I felt was a warm numbing love. I know if was God's love protecting me and my child. And then when I got the call the next day that he was gone. I hit the floor in agony. My grandpa had been like one of my dad's. And now he was gone. But my pregnancy was still going good. 

  God got me through that dark time. He brought through it and it was amazing of how he was there loving me. Then two months later. I get more calls. We don't know what's happened. But grandpas tractor is in a raveen and we don't know what's happened. We kept getting calls yet nothing saying how he was. Then the final call. He's gone. I stood in the yard and I looked up to heaven and ibyelled Why!! I don't get why!!

  Within the matter of two months the men who had been dad to me were gone. My heart was shattered. I was lost and didn't know what to do. Then I have my beautiful healthy baby boy and once I held him, it all came clear. God was showing me that I needed him as my father. The one who gives perfect love. He is my one. He's all I truly need in my heart to get me through anything. And he's all I truly need to make me feel special and loved. 

Truly Blessed
  Kate